7 Great Tips to Give Yourself Cancer

*For those unfortunate individuals who were born without a funny bone, please be advised that the tone of this article is satirical in nature. I'm not sure why anyone would actually want to get cancer - maybe you've used up all of your sick days at work and now you have to call in dead. Whatever the reason, if you make the following habits a part of your daily routine it will almost guarantee that you'll get a raging case of the big "C" in no time flat!